Love Is Not A Feeling

a collection of red hearts

In modern society, we think that we have a good handle on love.

We have moved beyond the oppression of the past and are free to love and to be loved.

Countless programs, films, adverts and Instagram stories seek to show us what real love is; and how we can achieve it.

Yet we are surrounded by broken relationships and failed marriages. Promises of a life that we dreamed of that were shattered by reality.

We have been fed a lie.

Love is not a feeling.

What we call love is in fact infatuation.

This intensity of feeling fades.

All relationships have that phase. The honeymoon phase. That feeling of intense desire.

And then it ends.

And we settle into "something else".

The problem is that the version of love that has been sold to us tells us that the "something else" is bad.

We then must seek for that love (infatuation) again. If we can't get it back with that same person then we seek it with someone else.

But love is not a feeling.

Love is the will to good.

It is to 'will' good on someone else.

All of us have free will. We 'will' things to be so, and we work towards making them a reality.

On the whole, we 'will' good upon ourselves. We desire comfort and happiness. Then we go about making those things into a reality.

When we love someone, we do not feel a feeling for them, we 'will' good on them. We want them to be blessed. This is why Jesus' golden rule is so important: "do to others, as you would want them to do to you" (Luke 6:31). This is not just about our action, it is a command to love.

Like the trinity - when we truly love in this way, we enter a place of mutual blessing - reciprocal love.

This extends far beyond marital relationships.

It extends to all people that we meet. To our neighbors, to the people we meet on the street, to the person who just cut us up in traffic.

We bless, even though we may not feel like it.

And this is that "something else" that was mentioned earlier. We might have moved beyond infatuation, but we have moved into something far greater!

A relationship of reciprocal love and blessing that deepens as time goes by.

Don't settle for infatuation.

Love.
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” - C. S. Lewis
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